Grandmother Spider's SpiritWeb

Blessed Samhain to all.

Today, a group with whom I am very loosely called a member met. I felt somewhat reluctant to meet with them because of some hard feelings I have for one of the members over what I call a neglect of our friendship.

Although I felt the reluctance, I went, expecting to stay only long enough to do ritural with them and split. On the way to the ritual, I kept thinking about what Samhain is for me, and what it is traditionally.

The traditions are familiar to most of you, and you all have your own I am sure. I am still developing my "traditions" and will continue to do so as long as I am in this practice.

Today's ritualy was to honor the Deities and Ancestors. I felt rather close to my Grandmothers duing the ritual. We took tome to tell stories about our contacts or memories of those who have gone before us, or our encounters with Spirits.

I told the people there of how I began my work as a witch and it was with my maternal grandmother. She was a devout Christian with a "Shamanic" flair I guess. She believed in blessing of her gardnes and home with prayer. Asking for growth, protection, and beauty "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." She believed in the laying on of hands, faith healing, goodness, and kindness. In years of drought when many gardnes and crops had dried and turned to brown, her garden flourished with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and flowers to share.

She gave me the first spell I ever learned. It was one to make a man impotent, or cause him to be less interested in me. She gave this to me as I began my menses and started to be interested in boys. She told me that after her 13th pregnancy, she used it on my grandfather. Some of you may not remember days when there was no such thing as the pill, and condoms were purchased and used only at the whim of a man.

Through the years, she treated me with special kindness and interest. I was her favorite, or so she said (and probably told all of us grandkids we were). I wish I had payed more attention to her teachings.

Grandmother was a witch. She would never have called herself such, but she had the skills, the visions, the traditions. If grandfather had found out about her spells and "blessings," there would have been hell to pay. These things were unnatural, evil. Even if they were done in the name of God.

As my mother's mother worshoped and prayed to her god, I envision the Goddess in the form of Maiden, Mother and Crone. We may not talk the same talk, but we walk the same walk. I consider it a priveledge, honor and a blessing to be born of her line.

My father's mother was much the same. Much more under her husbands thumb,and sometimes his fist, she too had her secret ways and until my grandfather's death, not much was said about this.

As a young girl, I lay near death, my grandmothers came to the hospital and spent the night laying on of their hands, praying, and lifting me from death to life.

I am glad I went to that ritual. This time spent within the Circle, brought me to my senses. I am honored to have been there. I lit a candle for my departed, and especially in honor of my grandmothers.

Tomorrow, I will do my solitary ritual. At this time, after preparation and during the ritual, I will meditate on each of the ones who have passed on that I want to talk to. I have written a letter to each one. I will hold it to the Spirits and Deities and light each letter from a candle. I let the ash blow in the wind, and carry my love and my thoughts to those who have crossed over.

It is a very private time. I have so much to say to them that I wanted to say before they passed, but didn't. This is how I let them know how I feel.

So, honored Sisters and Brothers, I wish you all a very Blessed Samhain. May your day be meaningful and beautiful.

Solstice